A road that goes on. A streetlight that brightens upon. And I, a lonely wanderer, choose to take a road I’ve never been on before. A path, yet to be walked upon, is where I intend to go on.
But my feet don’t lift up anymore. Is it shackles or paralysis? Is them or me? I can’t say! The body tells it’s them, but the mind, nevermind, puts the blame on me! Well, I don’t argue because a part of me agrees with the fact that I could have walked away, if it mattered.
A desire, underlying the humanly body, yet to be fulfilled, is what we all seek. It matters. Afterall, psychology too says that my mind will always perform first what I give priority to. And I gave priority to my fears. I chose to sob, to be held back, to not move forward, to remain stagnant and never question. I have been moulded to accept whatever comes my way. So I don’t think much, I just go wherever the body takes me. But my mind doesn’t take the same road. And hence, I , the traveller, am now a wanderer.
Feel with me if you can, the plight of being an individual in an environment that fears the darkness more than the absence of light. And I am not joking! You may call darkness as absence of light. But the absence of light may not scare you as much as darkness, because absence does give a hope for a nearby presence.
I don’t wish to walk, unless my feet are prepared for it and my mind is willing to do so. Coordination is must, eh?
You , here, must be lost in my words the way I am in darkness. But don’t be lost in realising your identity, afterall, you shouldn’t lose what you’ve found after so long.
I wish to envisage a route that takes me away from fears and shackles. A lonely road entices me to embark my journey. But the pointy fingers emerge out as spears and thorns, making me bleed all the way. Yet, this time, I can’t give up to my fears, because the absence of fear doesn’t make me fearless, but the terror of fear does!
Bearing, and baring, with me, you might have acknowledged your biggest demons. But what good is the Good without any evil?
– Shruti Sinha
( Procrastinating Perfectionist )
Photograph by Abhinavanand Singh.